Why Kids Are Like Stew
Thrown in at the Deep End
When I was first married at 18, I went from my mother’s house — and let’s face it, I didn’t do much there to help out — to my own home with no practical experience of cooking, cleaning, raising children etc.
My stepfather always called me his “lily of the field: she toils not, neither does she spin,”which was cute and all, but knowing nothing, I was really thrown into the deep end.
My first night of cooking, I chose stew because my theory was that it was easy. At my parents’ house, we had stew quite a bit. It was economical and nutritious and a great way to get vegetables into us on the sly. So it was just putting vegetables and meat in a pot and food came out the other end, wasn’t it?
Well, I don’t know how many nights I made sandwiches while my husband buried the disaster I’d made in the backyard.
Learning to Cook (and Be Patient)
What I didn’t realise was that making a stew requires adding the ingredients in the right order, in the right way, and in the right amounts. Trial and error, and finally buying a good cookbook, got me there in the end.
I learnt that it’s better to fry the meat with onion first, add some stock, then the hard vegetables, followed by the soft vegetables and a little gravy. You need to have patience and cook it slowly to let the character and flavours come out.
I’ll never be a great chef, but I can cook an edible meal now.
Sometimes the best meals take time. The same is true for children.
Raising Children is Like Cooking a Stew
Lately, I’ve been thinking that raising a child is very much like cooking a stew.
You need to add the ingredients in the right amounts: love, support, .
discipline, independence, morality, education — I could go on and on.
You also have to be patient. There will be problems. The temperature may get a little hot. One of the vegetables, or even, if you’re unlucky, the meat may be a little off. But you can’t throw away a child that’s not cooking right, so you just have to keep trying and maybe get some help along the way
Every child is different, and that's a wonderful thing.
No Two Kids Are the Same
The amount of information out there now to help parents with problems is almost too much. I wish I had half as much when I was raising my kids. Books, eBooks, YouTube, podcasts — it’s immense.
But what only some people admit is that no two kids are the same. And just like you wouldn’t cook beef stew the same way you would cook lamb stew, you don’t raise different children in exactly the same way.
Some kids are highly emotional. Some are fiercely independent. Some want to sit and watch TV all day, and some can’t sit still for a 15-minute show.
So yes, while all kids need the same ingredients, they may need them in different amounts, and some may take longer to cook than others.
A Little Help Along the Way
On this blog, I’ll give you my ideas on how to help when some ingredients aren’t quite so fresh. I haven’t got qualifications in this area, only my experience, and my remedies are advice only, not a prescription.
If you think there is something seriously wrong, then seeking professional advice is key.
But for the small problems, I’ll see what solutions I’ve got
Real life ideas for real families because brighter futures start at home.
With love
Nana Tam
Stay connected with Nana Tam
If you’ve enjoyed this article, why not join our growing community? Be the first to hear about new books, activities, resources and ideas from Nana Tam